Many teachers have spoken about the negative effects, even dangers of attachment. According to Buddhism, the main cause of dukkha is attachment. Yet, we hear somewhat less of aversion — which is equally an obstacle to our development as we set out on any spiritual path. We might say that attachment involves clinging to what we perceive as desirable; aversion is doing all it takes to avoid what we perceive as undesirable. We want the positive people or pleasure in our lives to continue; the painful or hurtful experiences or people to end. One teacher described it as a process of ‘over estimating’. Attachment is over-estimating the ability of someone or something to bring you happiness, and in aversion, believing you cannot possibly be happy when some person or condition is present in your life, you over-estimate the ability of these to bring you suffering. It is not just the extremes of aversion like rage that may prompt one to harm or take the life of another, or even of oneself, in order to get rid of or escape what one hates so much, that we must pay attention to. There are everyday aversions that eat away at us, from those that mildly annoy and disturb us, to those that drive us crazy, and end up occupying way too much time and space in our hearts and minds. Things ‘as-they-are’ make us wish they were not. Think of the displeasure we feel around unpleasant weather — it’s too hot, too humid, too cold; or the discomfort of minor physical pain of a twisted ankle and wishing that it goes away. What about condemning or avoiding others for their perceived flaws? Or the hurt when a person points out your wrongdoings; cutting them off is our solution. If you grumble a lot over how things are, chances are you are a prime avoider. Marguerite Theophil
