Dr. Pradeep Kumar Singh
Those who do not follow the path of conduct manifested by Lord Ram and his family are of no significance to society
All Indians are familiar with Lord Ram. Even those who do not accept Lord Ram as the God, consider him as Maryada Purushottam. Lord Ram’s conduct is well known as the ideal son, ideal brother, ideal husband, ideal friend and ideal ruler. The conduct of his family members also seems to be full of idealism. This ideal conduct is the foundation stone of the Sanatan culture. The reading, listening, meditating and practicing the conduct of Lord Ram and his family members with devotion is important for character building in children, youth, elders, men and women, by controlling psychological disorders (appetency, anger, greed, attachment, jealousy-hatred, arrogance etc.) and instilling the virtues (simplicity, humility, seriousness, patience, and devotion to parents & elders, etc.).
Goswami Tulsidas is the most popular saint and poet who presented character and conduct of Lord Ram and his family members in local dialects of the Hindi belt. According to him, those who tell or listen the story dealing with character & conduct of Lord Ram with devotion and careful understanding, will definitely build their own character with ideals of Lord Ram, remain away from the sins, and lead a delightful life.
The comprehensive character of Lord Ram and his family members cannot be summed up in words. According to scholars, it can be divided into three main parts – presentation of ideal conduct in family and public life, destruction of criminals, militants and terrorists, and establishment of Utopia. Success in all the three areas could be possible only because of support and solidarity of the family. Although sometimes there seems to be difference of opinion and personality among the family members, yet their conduct is exemplary for the society. Lord Ram has clarified one more important principle that the family-based duty is superior to personal interest, and the public duty is the superior most. This way, he guided the people trapped in dilemma while taking important decisions.
According to the principle of Karmayoga, one should perform one’s duties without being attached to the outcome of actions. The stability of thoughts should be maintained without getting distracted by the outcome – success or failure. Lord Ram followed this practice throughout. Even on successful completion of Yajna of Maharishi Vishwamitra by meting out punishment to the terrorists causing hindrance or getting success in Dhanush Yajna at Janakpuri, the simplicity of behavior defines his personality. Despite the repeated challenges by Lord Parshuram, the humility of Lord Ram, reflects his distinguished virtue. Compliance to the instructions by his father, King Dashrath and Guru Vashishtha for elevating him to the post of Yuvraj without any excitement, and the very next day, acceptance of the order of 14-year-exile of step mother Kaikeyi (in presence of father in dilemma due to affection) without expressing grief, followed by departure from palace in ascetic attire without any delay, all are the indication of his extreme devotion towards parents. He tells mother Kaikeyi, “Mother, the son who gets an opportunity to serve his parents is very lucky”.
On mother Kaushalya expressing grief for the exile, Lord Ram consoles her commenting “I have been assigned important responsibility by father in the forest region, which shall be very useful to me”. His positive approach towards the welfare of the family puts the society stunned.
The conduct of family members is also beyond comprehension. Queen Kausalya could have opposed Lord Ram’s exile, but she considered the protection of King’s integrity and commitment from being tarnished, as the important family-based duty. She tells Lord Ram “If order for the exile has been passed by your father, being your mother, higher in family status, I overrule it and advise you not to leave. However, if the order has been passed collectively by both father & mother (i.e. to fulfill the commitment given by father to mother), my best wishes for the 14-year-exile to become hundred times delightful than Ayodhya.
The decision of Laxman to accompany Lord Ram during the exile is quite astonishing. Who so ever becomes the king, he would definitely have got a ministry. But such a thought neither comes to Laxman, nor to his mother Sumitra or the royal daughter-in-law Urmila. Stubbornly getting ready to accompany Lord Ram during the exile, represents his extreme affection towards the elder brother. The grant of permission by mother Sumitra along with necessary guidance shows her identity for mother’s family-based duty. She advises “Today onwards consider Sita as your mother and Ram your affectionate father. When Sita and Ram are leaving for exile, your services are no more required in Ayodhya.”
Younger brothers Bharat and Shatrughan also display exemplary virtues. Bharat’s refusal to coronation, his efforts (with Guru Vashishtha, Minister Sumantra, family members, and general public) to locate Lord Ram and persuade to bring him back for coronation, followed by his return with the sandals of Lord Ram as per instructions of the latter, reflects his immense affection for elder brother, family customs & responsibilities. Further, on return to Ayodhya, installation of the sandals on the throne, their daily worship, and handling the governance seeking their orders for necessary actions, while residing at Nandigram in ascetic attire, etc. manifest his unprecedented sacrifice for the family.
The character of all the family members is really strange. None of the four princes felt attracted towards the throne for 14-year. Although the general public kept blaming Queen Kaikeyi for the crisis, yet Lord Ram put the blame on Lord Brahma. Control over expression is necessary to maintain harmony and avoid bitterness. All the family members – queens, princes and royal daughters-in-law together made unprecedented sacrifice for the family’s solidarity. Queen Kaikeyi also felt repentance for 14-year. Everyone considered the family-based duty and the public duty superior for integrity & glory of the dynasty, rising above personal interest.
A lot of sacrifice and efforts have to be made to fulfill major objectives. One should learn dutifulness towards family and society from the family members of Lord Ram. The auspicious festival Ramnavami is the day to understand the conduct of Lord Ram and his family members in the modern perspective and to introspect and take a resolution for self improvement. The conspiracy to break the family was hatched by Manthara, the maidservant who originally belonged to Kekay. Those who do not have attachment with the nation, remain engaged in mischief with selfish motives. Decision makers should apply their own wisdom while taking decision otherwise they may have to repent like Queen Kaikeyi. But in modern India, the captains of democracy, celebrities and highly placed officials do not even apologize for committing wrong & harmful actions with selfish motive. A few among them tender conditional apology under pressure expressing their kindness. Repentance is no more a practice. Children become eligible to take independent decision on attaining the age of 18-year. Media and the constitutional institutions keep putting efforts to ensure equal status, separate identity and participation in decision making for women in family. Although this appears to be ideal, yet all that glitters is not gold. This arrangement can be beneficial to society only when the family members seek guidance from Lord Ram and his family members, because a balance between the rights and the dutifulness is necessary. According to principle of vector science, many vectors working in one direction yield maximum output. The output gets reduced when the vectors act in different directions, and can be zero or even negative. The same principle applies in the social sciences as well.
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