Recalling Ram
Suman K Sharma
As Ram’s mother, Queen Kaushalya was the most contented women of all, though as a wife, she might have had her woes. Queen Sumitra was different, both as a mother and a wife. She was a forbearing, quiet and calm person who offered sage advice when it was needed. The third primary queen of Ayodhya, Kaikeyi, was an entity of a different kind that brought the story of Ram-avtar to a full circle (please see ‘Dashrath-Kaikeyi – When Matrimony Goes Sour’ that appeared in this space the last Sunday).
Kaushalya – earthly mother to a divine son
Sant Tulsidas narrates that Kaushalya and Dashrath were wife and husband as Shatrupa and the ‘Svayambhu’ (self-existent) Manu in an earlier birth too. When Raja Manu became too old, he abdicated the throne in favour of his son, Uttaanpaad, and retired with Shatrupa to the forest. There the couple went into intense austerities for thousands of years. Pleased with their devotion, Lord Vishnu appeared before them to ask what boon would they desire the most. To this, Manu beseeched the Lord –
Daani Shiromani Kripanidhi nath kahun satibhau/
Chahaun tumhahi smaan sut Prabhu san kavan durau//
(The Raja said) O Paragon of Benefactors! O Store of Grace! O Lord! I am telling you my heart’s desire is that I want to have a son like You. What can I conceal from the Lord!
Ramcharitmanas, Balkand, 141
And the Lord said to Manu that after a lapse of time, after having rejoiced in myriads of heavenly pleasures, he would be the raja of Avadh. Then He would be born his son (ibid, 151). Ram – the seventh incarnation of Lord Vishnu – was not however the first-born of Queen Kaushalya and Raja Dashrath. It was a daughter, Shanta. Dashrath gave her away to his friend, Raja Rompaad of Ang in adoption (see Balmiki Ramayan, Balkand, Canto 11(v)). Yet, the Deity’s word would not go amiss.
Following Raja Dashrath’s performance of a son-begetting yagya, Kaushalya indeed delivered a son. It was not a human baby, but Lord Vishnu himself in His divine form. Awe-struck by the visitation, the queen offered obeisance to the Deity (Ramcharitmanas, Balkand, 191 (i and ii). Yet a doubt pestered her mind. The Vedas said that countless universes existed in each and every pore of His corpus, then how could He have lodged in her womb with His infinite dimensions? The Lord reminded her smilingly of the boon she had received from Him in her previous birth. She was now to conduct herself as an earthly mother to Him (ibid, iii). Enlightened, she fervently prayed to the Lord to ‘begin playing as a (human) babe (ibid, iv).’
Kaushalya would remain an earthly mother to her divine son throughout the epic.
A testing time came for the royal household when Raja Dashrath expressed his intent to make Ram his crown-prince. Ram went to share the happy tidings with his mother, Kaushalya. On hearing the news, the first words that came to her lips gave out her latent fear about his future: “Son, may you live long! May the enemies out to obstruct your path be destroyed…” (Balmiki Ramayan, Ayodhya Kand, Canto 4). Kaushalya’s fear proved true. On the day before his anointment ceremony was due, Ram visited her again, only to inform her of Raja Dashrath’s decision to make Kaikeyi’s son Bharat as his heir-apparent; while he, Ram, was to proceed to the forest to live there as an ascetic for fourteen years. Unaware of the turning of tables, Kaushalya at that moment was performing a havan seeking blessings of gods for her son’s advancement. Hearing the gloomy words from Ram, she fell down swooning “like an axed branch of a sal tree.” On regaining consciousness, she bewailed her fate of a neglected wife –
“Son, Ram! I never got to see what happiness and prosperity I should have had as the senior wife during the period of supremacy of my husband. I used to think that I would have all the happiness in my son’s reign and was thriving only on that hope…. Dear One! I have been scorned by my co-wives even while you were with me, then what will be my condition when you go away to an alien land? My death is certain in that situation.”
– Balmiki Ramayan, Ayodhya Kand, Canto 20 (xxxviii and xli)
Kaushalya entreated Ram to take her along to the forest, but Ram persuaded her to stay back as her primary duty lay with her husband who was also in agony because of the impending separation from his son (ibid, Canto 24). Perceiving his determination to abide by his father’s command, she blessed him for his safe conduct during the passage of banishment.
Charioteer Sumantra took Ram, Sita and Lakshman to the Dandkaranya forest and returned to Ayodhya with a heavy heart. Raja Dashrath, as also everybody else in the palace, was half-expecting that the trio would be back after experiencing their long ride in the surrounds of Ayodhya. But Sumantra’s lone return dashed their hopes to the ground. Queen Kaushalya gave vent to her rage, accusing her husband, Raja Dashrath, of his partiality towards Kaikeyi and her son, Bharat –
“By sending off Ram to the forest, you have ruined this realm and other kingdoms nearby; slain your subjects and your ministers. By you I have been killed along with my son, and the residents of this city have also been nearly devastated. Only your son, Bharat, and your wife, Kaikeyi, are pleased.”
– Ibid, Canto 61(xxvi)
Yet, again, as a wife, seeing that an already agonised Dashrath was grievously hurt by her jibes, Kaushalya tearfully sought his pardon for her angry outburst.
Queen Sumitra and her poise
Unlike, Kaushalya, Sumitra maintained exemplary calm and fortitude in trying situations. By her very name (‘Sumitra’ means “a good friend”, “having a good friend” – ‘A Sanskrit English Dictionary’, M. Monier-Williams, p.1231), this queen of Ayodhya evoked amiability, an accommodative nature and wisdom.
We first come across her in Balkand of both the Balmiki Ramayan and the Ramcharitmanas. Raja Dashrath performed the ‘putrayeshti’ (son-begetting) yagya and Agni Dev himself appeared in human form to offer him ‘paysam’ (kheer), ingesting which his queens would conceive. Rishi Balmiki describes (Balkand, Canto 16(xxvi-xxx)) how Dashrath apportioned the prasad to his three primary wives. Sant Tulsidas, however, has a different take on this episode. He emphasizes Sumitra’s equipoise in a situation which would seem humiliating, if not demeaning, to any woman in similar circumstances. According to the Ramcharitmanas, Dashrath gave Kaushalya and Kaikeyi their portions of the prasad. Then he placed the utensil containing the remaining part in their hands before offering it to Sumitra, as if he were seeking the consent both of his chief wife, Kaushalya, and his favourite wife, Kaikeyi, for Sumitra to conceive (Ramcharitmanas, Balkand, 189(i-ii). Sumitra accepted the divine offering without expressing any resentment and in time was blessed with twins, Lakshman and Shatrughan.
As a mother, Sumitra went along with the choices her sons made. Lakshman was attached to Ram, while Shatrughan had affinity with Bharat. When Rishi Vishwamitra persuaded Dashrath to send Ram with him to fight rakshasas, Lakshman went along with his favourite brother. In the same manner, Shatrughan accompanied Bharat when the latter went with his maternal uncle to the Kekeya Desh.
But going with Ram and Sita on a 14-year vanvas was a different matter. Lakshman was apprehensive of seeking his mother’s permission. She might refuse, he feared. On the contrary, Sumitra encouraged and applauded him for going on such a selfless and arduous mission to be with his doted brother. Sant Tulsidas captures the spirit of her advice to Lakshman in these words –
Updesu yehu jehin taat Ram Siya sukh paavhin/
Pitu matu priya parivar sukh surti ban bsiravhin//
Tulsi Prabhuhi sikh dei aayasu deenh puni aasish dei/
Rati hou abiral amal Siya Raghubir pad nit nai//
O dear one! Only this is my advice to you: (your actions should be such) that Ram and Sita should feel happy and forget father, mother, dear family and the pleasures of the city life. Tulsidas says that Sumitra accorded permission to his (Tulsidas’) Lord (that is, Lakshman) and then gave him this blessing: may your pure and intense love for Sita and Raghubir grow ever new.
– Ramcharitmanas, Ayodhya Kand, 74-chhand
Clearly, Sumitra respected Lakshman’s emotional bonding with Ram more than she did her own sense of maternal right to question his decision.
Ram and Sita went to the forest and Lakshman accompanied them. Ram’s mother, Kaushalya, was inconsolable on separation from her beloved son. Sumitra too had to bear the pain of separation from her son, Lakshman. But, rather than wallowing in emotion, she took charge of the situation and reasoned with the weepy Kaushalya to have confidence in the ability of their sons to prove themselves against any adversity. “Listening to Sumitra, all the sorrow left Kaushalya’s mind in the same way as a cloud with less water disintegrates rapidly during the winter season.” (Balmiki Ramayan, Ayodhya Kand, Canto 31).
Kaushalya, Sumitra and Kaikeyi were three exalted women of strikingly different dispositions – Kaushalya with her matronly instincts who, for the sake of her son, did not mind chiding even her lord and husband; Sumitra with her unfailing gravitas; and Kaikeyi, a feisty royal who courted eternal ignominy for daring to assert herself.
Raja Dashrath’s three queens seem so much like the states of mind we experience in our lives. There is that one in which we won’t let our beloved person go out of our sight. Then there is our calm and quiet state of mind when we perceive things in the right perspective without giving in to our sentiments. And there is also the ‘Kaikeyi’ mood. We all know Old Dashrath’s story.
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