I.D. Soni
The Power of Compassion: If we are filled with anger, we create more suffering for ourselves than for the other individual. When we are inhabited by the energy of anger, we want to punish, we want to destroy. That is why those who are wise do not want to say anything or do anything while the anger is still in them. So we try to bring peace into ourselves first. When we are calm, when we are lucid, we will see that other individual is a victim of confusion, of hate, of violence transmitted by society, by parents, by friends, by the environment. When we are able to see that, our anger is no longer there.
Forgiveness will not be possible until compassion is born in our heart. Even if we want to forgive, we cannot forgive. In order to be compassionate, we have to understand why the other individual has done that to us and our people. We have to see that they are victims of their own confusion, their own world view, their own grieving, their own discrimation, their own lack of understanding and compassion. Compassion always protects us from anger, and that is why compassion is the antidote for the anger. With compassion we can relate to other people. Without compassion, we are cut off. We should learn to practise these two wonderful things – compassionate listening and the language of loving speech.
An act of compassion always brings about transformation. If not right now, it will happen in the future. The important thing is we don’t react with anger. We react with compassion, and sooner or later we see the transformation in the other individual. We keep being compassionate, we keep being patient.
There is nothing in this world that is stronger than compassionate heart. Ethics involve compassion. Compassion leads us to success in life. Compassion for the injured, the ill, and the aged reveals the personality of a human being. Compassion provides an opportunity to dream beyond what is possible.
Heart Awakens Through Compassion: There is no power on earth greater than love. By mildness and gentleness we can conquer the world, God is love and peace. An abusive tongue and mind filled with wrath are signs of ignorance. Until love, compassion and forgiveness dwell in our heart and perfect peace in our mind, we cannot realise God.
Compassion is the first quality to be developed in order to attain the bliss of impersonal Love. At the sight of suffering our heart is touched and it melts. In a mysterious way we feel suffering of another as our own. This feeling is not of body or mere mind. It is outcome of a consciousness of something that equally dwells within us and the sufferer and which is undivided. By a strange impulse we are urged to succour him. Our act of relief, whatever shape it takes, yields us inexplicable peace and joy, understanding at once that the root of love is in our impersonal self and to realise it, awakening the heart to the feeling of compassion and the resultant selfless action is essential. Let us perform all our life’s activities in such a manner that we can every moment be conscious of our identity with the whole creation. Let us not rely on any standard, however exalted which is merely dogmatic, ethical or mental. Soar beyond all conditioned states of thought and life, and, teaching the infinite reality, make this great impersonal as the one immortal standard of our entire life. Having compassion for oneself is really no different than having compassion for others. This can be done by those only who have awakened their heart through compassion.
Self Compassion: Having compassion for oneself is really no different than having compassion for others. Think about what the experience of compassion feels like. First, to have compassion for others we must notice they are suffering. If we ignore that homeless person on the street, we cannot feel compassion for how difficult his or her experience is. Second, compassion involves feeling moved by other’s suffering so that our heart responds to their pain (the word compassion literally means to “suffer with”). When this occurs, we feel warmth, caring and the desire to help the suffering person in some way. Having compassion also means that we offer understanding and kindness to others when they fail or make mistakes, rather than judging them harshly. Finally, when we feel compassion for another (rather than mere pity), it means that we realise that suffering, failure, and imperfection is part of the shared human experience, “There but for fortune go I!”
Self compassion involves acting the same way towards ourselves when we are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something we do not like about ourselves. Instead of just ignoring our pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality we stop to tell ourselves “This is really difficult, how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?”
Compassion and the Individual: One great question underlies our experience, whether we think about it consciously or not : what is the purpose of life?
Great men have considered this question very seriously and shared their thoughts in the hope that they may be of direct, practical benefit to those who read them.
They believed that the purpose of life is to be happy. From the moment of birth every human being wants happiness and does not like suffering. Neither social conditioning, nor education, nor ideology affect this. From very core of our being, we simply desire contentment. Therefore, it is important to discover what will bring about the greatest degree of happiness.
(i) How to Achieve Happiness:
From their vast experience they have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquillity comes from the development of love and compassion. They believe that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own sense of well-being becomes. Cultivating a close warm hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. This helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the ultimate source of success in life.
As long as we live in this world we are bound to encounter problems. It, at such times, we lose hope and become discouraged, we diminish our ability to face difficulties. If, on the other hand, we remember that it is not just ourselves but everyone who has to undergo suffering, this more realistic perspective will increase our determination and capacity to overcome troubles. Indeed, with this attitude each new obstacle can be seen as yet another valuable opportunity to improve our mind. This we can strive gradually to become more compassionate; that is we can develop both genuine sympathy for other’s suffering and the will to help remove their pain. As a result, our own serenity and inner strength will increase.
(ii) Our need for love:
It is because our own human existence is so dependent on the help of others that our need for love lies at the very foundation of our existence. Therefore, we need a genuine sense of responsibility and a sincere concern for the welfare of others. We have to consider what we human beings really are. We are not like machine objects. If we are merely mechanical entities, then machines themselves could alleviate all of our sufferings and fulfil our needs. However, since we are not solely material creature, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. Instead, we should consider our origins and nature to discover what we require.
No material object, however, beautiful or valuable, can make us feel loved, because our deeper identity and true character lie in the subjective nature of the mind.
(iii) How can we start?
We should begin by removing the greatest hindrances to compassion; anger and hatred. As we all know these are extremely powerful emotions and they can overwhelm our entire mind. Nevertheless, they can be controlled. If, however, they are not, these negative emotions will plague us – with no extra effort on their part and impede our quest for the happiness of a loving mind. It can cause an immense amount of destructive, unfortunate behaviour. Compassion is by nature gentle, peaceful and soft, but it is very powerful. It is those who easily lose their patience, who are insecure and unstable. Thus, to us, the arousal of anger is a direct sign of weakness.
So anger and hatred are always harmful, and unless we train our minds and work to reduce their negative force, they will continue to disturb us and disrupt our attempts to develop a calm mind. Anger and hatred are our real enemies. These are forces we must need to confront and defeat, not the temporary enemies who appear intermittently through out life.
I often joke that if we really want to be selfish, we should be very altruistic ! We should take good care of others, be concerned for their welfare, help them, serve them, make more friends, make more smiles. The result? When we ourselves need help, we find plenty of helpers. Because we all share an identical need for love, it is possible to feel that anybody we meet, in whatever circumstances, is a brother or sister. No matter how new the face or how different the dress and behaviour, there is no significant division between us and other people. It is foolish to dwell on external differences, because our basic natures are the same.
(The writer is President Home for the Aged & Infirm, Ambphalla, Jammu)