Yogesh Khosla
As the name suggests, this is addressed to parents and teachers- those who care for the children and feel responsible for their growth and development. But, sadly most school and home environments are authoritarian and controlling. Children learn very quickly that schools are not for joyful learning. Basic human traits like keen observation, intrinsic motivation, curiosity, self-esteem, which all children have as kids, are destroyed very early for most of the children.Become something, worship success, embrace competition, be ambitious are the war slogans for our children.These children grow up to become fearful, stressed adults who avoid disapproval at all costs and do everything- right or wrong, to seek approval. Do what you’re told. Don’t question authority. If you mess up on some task, make sure you are not blamed. At all costs look good, look right.
Children who are left behind in this race are considered to be having some mental deficiency which is permanent. Their condition is hopeless and they are condemned to struggle in life. Parents and teachers soon lose faith in their ability to succeed. Nobody respects them and nobody takes them seriously. Society traps them in labels like “dumb” and “slow”. This is “fixed mindset” in action.
Decades of pioneer research in achievement and success by Stanford University psychologist and brain researcher Dr Carol Dweck challenges above mentioned labels which act as traps. Her groundbreaking idea- the POWER OF MINDSET shows that by changing our mindset, change is possible. She posits that everybody’s brain is a “work in progress”. If we discard fixed labels like “low intelligence” or “dumb” and start believing in “GROWTH MINDSET” and start acting differently, neuron connections can change. It is possible to change intelligence, personality, habits, academic achievements and other personal outcomes by adopting growth mindset. Growth mindset can trigger thoughts like ” change is hard”, but it is possible. Scientists have a special name for this ability of the brain to grow, learn and change in response to new challenges: NEUROPLASTICITY. Brain works like a muscle. More you use it- greater is the practice, stronger and better it becomes. New, denser and richer neuron connections start developing. By nurturing resilience, children can be taught that failures and setbacks are opportunities to grow and improve. They can be motivated to learn new skills, accept challenges, welcome difficult situations. With hard work, persistent practice and ” never say die” attitude everything can be achieved. They can then win the real race- the race called life.
How can we- the parents and teachers, help in fostering Growth Mindset in our children. Here are some recommendations by the experts:
DISCARD THE DEFICIT PERSPECTIVE OF LEARNING: Most of the parents and educators believe that main purpose of education is to make up the innate failings and deficiencies of children. This perspective assumes that something is broken in all children that needs to be fixed. We are naturally inclined and trained to see and attend only to the shortcomings, mistakes, “bad habits”, “misbehaviour” and other deficits of our children.Says eminent Professor Peter Senge of MIT in his classic “SCHOOLS THAT LEARN”: ” Educators don’t give speeches advocating the deficit perspective, but every school child knows its sting. Young children who get Cs or Ds are very likely to conclude not only that their answers are wrong but that they themselves are “wrong”. Before long, school evaluations become sweeping self- assessments: ” I’m not all right, there is something wrong with me. I don’t have what is needed to succeed in life.” Most kids internalise a simple conclusion, “I am not respected here.”
We can change our perspective. We can learn to ignore most of our children’ mistakes, failings and so called deficiencies. Instead we can learn to see and attend to their strengths and positives- which all children possess.Appreciate and give positive feedback when children show ” good behaviour”. Appear suddenly to pat and encourage your daughter when she shows self motivation tocomplete her home assignments on her own. Ignore when the two siblings are fighting or shouting, but leave what you are doing and rush to hug them both when they are playing and laughing together.
APPRECIATE EFFORTS NOT ONLY SUCCESS: Growth Mindset principles are being adopted not only in education but are being used extensively by sports coaches and in adolescent mental health interventions. Says Carol Dweck in “MINDSET: HOW YOU CAN FULFIL YOUR POTENTIAL”: ” Every word and action from parents and teachers to children sends a message. Remember that praising children’ intelligence or talents, tempting as it is, sends a fixed mindset message. It makes their confidence and motivation more fragile. Instead, try to focus on the processes they used- their strategies, efforts, or choices. Praise their methods, their efforts to find solutions to problems, the interest they displayed in doing something. Instead of asking for mistake free work, ask for full commitment and full effort.Teach them that setbacks are wake-up calls. Teach them that failures and setbacks are to be used for motivation to learn more and practice more.”
Another dimension for those who are labelled “smart” or ” winner” or “talented”. Beware of your success seeking attitude! It can knock you into a fixed mindset: “I won because I have talent. Because I have high IQ. Therefore, I will keep winning.”Such fixed mindset mentality affects winners as much as losers and brings complacency. This has been convincingly and robustly made clear by eminent social scientist Chris Argyris in a research study “Why Smart People don’t Learn”.
ROLE OF CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK &CHALLENGES: Love, care and respect for children doesn’t mean that they should be protected from difficult situations and from critical feedback.Parents, by intervening prematurely, may prevent developing tolerance for problems and from learning problem- solving techniques. What children do need is opportunities to confront various problems and setbacks when they are young and learn to cope with them. Constructive feedback is different from harsh criticism which hinders growth. Constructive means helping the child to fix something, to do a better job or inlearning a new skill. Constructive feedback could mean correcting undesirable behaviour in clear, matter-of- factneutral tone without demeaning and undermining the child.Constructive feedback means collaborating with the child to bringstructure in life- clear rules, well specified expected behaviour, mutually agreed consequences for violations etc.
Take the example of Basketball coach John Wooden who joined UCLA team. When he put his team to first practice, he was shattered. His first thoughts- return the contract and leave.Players were coasting casually during practice- joking and pushing others, eating while playing. Wooden was wise and interesting but not a softy. His approach was motivational, respectful but firm. His first address to the players set the tone: ” You have to apply yourself each day to become a little better. A little better each and every day over a period of time, you will become a lot better. You may then be outscored but you will never lose.”
Wooden attended to and worked with each player with compassion but strict and firm discipline,lot of practice with total involvement and clear practice protocols. Casual approach during practice meant “practice over” even for “stars”. Wooden soon converted a low ranking team to the top of NCAA championship with eighty-eight-game-winning streak.
(The author is a former Principal)
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