Nancy Sharma
“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently” – Henry Ford.
These lines are so inspiring; for a defeated person, they are nothing less than a soothing balm. But is losing really that bad? Is making a mistake such a big sin that it is greater than a person’s life?We have always learned that failure teaches us the true meaning of success. Until someone experiences failure, they will never truly enjoy the taste of victory. And the joy of winning is the greatest when the whole world is waiting for your defeat.However, for some people, maintaining their dignity in front of society and the world is more important than anything else, even if they have to pay any price for that victory.
In today’s time, academic marks play a very significant role in our lives. A person’s intelligence and wisdom are judged solely based on their scores. Not only students but also parents are caught up in this race for marks. They want to enroll their children in the best schools and coaching institutes, which is indeed a good thing-every parent dreams of providing their children with the opportunities they themselves never had.But expecting that their child must always score well or secure a government job, otherwise, they are worthless, is completely wrong. Every person has different talents and abilities, and comparing them solely with academics is unfair.Some excel in studies, while others are skilled in drawing, singing, dancing, sports, motivation, jobs, or business. We should respect all these talents equally.
The purpose of writing this article came to me from a recent incident in which; a man killed his two sons over poor academic performance and died by suicide in Andhra Pradesh. This incident brings many questions in our min: Are academic grades more valuable than a family’s life?Will the step this person has taken bring any change in society? Is this mindset justified? Will our country progress with such a mentality?These are some of the many questions that must be in all our minds. But we will find answers to them only when the people of our country understand the reasons behind such thinking.
Causes of Academic Stress
* Parental Expectations:- The primary reason behind such incidents is the expectations that parents have from their children. Having expectations is not wrong, but if those expectations become a cause of someone’s suffering, then it is better to let them go.Today, every parent wants that if they have provided their child with a good education from reputed schools and institutes, then their child must score high marks, get their picture in the newspaper, win trophies and medals, and become an all-rounder. This way, they can proudly tell their relatives and society that their child is no less than anyone else.However, they forget that no one is less or more than anyone else. Every individual possesses some unique talent; the only need is to recognize, nurture, and encourage it. But today, instead of polishing those talents, everyone is caught up in a single race-good grades and government jobs. Beyond this, they refuse to look at anything else.
Competition:- The most crucial reason is the race to outshine others-our so-called competition.
“If our neighbor’s child scored 98%, why did you only get 90%? Haven’t we provided you with everything?Your best friend scored 100% in math; you always study and play with him, so why did you get only 95%?Other children manage to study and play, but you just keep playing cricket all the time.Look at that auto-rickshaw driver’s daughter; she cleared the UPSC exam. We have given you every possible comfort, yet you have achieved nothing.”
By constantly saying such things, education has been turned into a battlefield, as if it’s a competition where even falling behind by a single point means there’s nothing left in life.This only gives rise to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and many other mental health issues, which lead to a lack of self-confidence in children rather than helping them outshine others in the race.
Fear of Failure:- Has anyone ever done something correctly out of fear? Most people would say no, yet for some, fear remains a powerful weapon-not just for parents but also for teachers in schools and coaching institutes.If a child is not good at academics but excels in other co-curricular activities, they are often told, “You should also focus on your studies, or else you will achieve nothing in life. No friend will talk to you, no one respect you, and you won’t be worthy of sitting among others,” and so on.This only creates an atmosphere of fear rather than fostering progress. Stress negatively impacts creativity and critical thinking, making children hesitant to take any step. They start believing that what society says is the only right thing, and anything they do differently might be wrong.
Comparison with Peers:- Comparison with peers is also a major reason that damages the relationship between children and their families.It makes them feel that no matter what they do, it will never be enough for their parents-that their parents can never truly be happy with them. They constantly hear that they are not capable of doing anything.As a result, they will either live their life in fear, doing what everyone expects from them, or they will rebel and seek support from the outside world to follow their own path. But it is not necessary that every person they encounter will guide them in the right direction. They are more likely to find people who lead them astray. And once they go down the wrong path, bringing them back becomes difficult-especially when the parent-child relationship has already been severely damaged.
After understanding all these reasons, we can only hope that our society adopts the right mindset and guides children in the right direction. Instead of valuing grades alone, we should prioritize skills and knowledge, creating a balanced approach to education.
Parents should support their children rather than pressurizing them. They should make time for their kids, listen to their problems, ask them what’s going on in their lives, encourage their interests and hobbies, and give them the strength to move forward in life. Teach them never to give up, make them capable of facing any challenge, and help them step out of their comfort zone to experience real life. This way, when they grow up, they will take pride in what you have taught them.
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