It’s completely natural to have strong reactions to situations and experiences as we move through life. During childhood, we learn how to react to strong emotions by observing the people around us. Sometimes, these reactions can become maladaptive and cause interpersonal conflicts with our loved ones.
We visited BetterPlace Health, a mental health startup making therapy in Delhi more accessible, to get to the root of emotional reactivity and learn how to manage it.
What Does It Mean to Be Reactive?
According to Dr. Akul Gupta, a consultant psychiatrist at BetterPlace Health, emotional reactivity is when a person reacts disproportionately to a situation or trigger via anger, sadness, or stress. Emotionally reactive people feel like they have little to no control over their emotions. For example, they may react by saying hurtful things, crying uncontrollably, shouting at others, throwing things, or hitting walls. Their moods may also change quickly and without warning.. People who react this way usually do it impulsively and may regret their reactions afterwards.
If you leave them unchecked, these emotional eruptions can lead to fights, conflicts, trust issues, and strain your personal and professional relationships.
Why You Might Be Reacting This Way
Emotional reactivity does not have any one specific reason. It is usually a combination of your past experiences, environment, and biology.
Here are a few reasons for your emotional reactivity, shared by Ms. Ayushi Paul, a clinical psychologist at BetterPlace Health:
Past trauma or early life conditioning: If you grew up in an environment where emotions weren’t safe or communication felt combative, your brain might default to defensiveness.
Chronic stress: Ongoing pressure, whether from work, family, or relationships, wears down your patience and makes small things feel big.
Anxiety and hypervigilance: When you’re always scanning for danger or criticism, even neutral comments can feel threatening.
Burnout and sleep deprivation: Being physically and emotionally drained lowers your capacity to regulate your mood.
Flight or fight response: When you perceive a threat, your brain goes into a “fight or flight” state. It motivates you to either take the threat head-on or run away from it. This system works great in an actual emergency but not during stressful conversations.
Tips for Regaining Control
With the help of Ms. Sulagna Mondal, a clinical psychologist at BetterPlace Health, we have compiled a list of self-help techniques you can use to regain control of your emotional reactivity:
Identify your triggers: Identifying your triggers can help you know when you’re experiencing an emotional episode in real time and manage your emotions by employing strategies.
Pause before you respond: Take a second to shift your perspective every time you feel like you’re having an emotional reaction. Delaying your initial reaction also helps lessen its intensity.
Assume positive intention: If you’re someone who gets mad or angry at other people, try to assume that they had a positive intention. Sometimes they really do, and even if they don’t, you can keep a calm, cool head, ask questions, and understand their point of view.
Name the emotion: Naming your emotions can help you identify your feelings and give you space to choose what to do next.
Try grounding techniques: Touch something cold, take deep breaths, focus on your feet on the floor, or count from 1 to infinity. These techniques signal your brain that you’re safe.
Journal or reflect: Journalling can help you spot behavioural patterns, track and identify your triggers, so you can apply emotional regulation techniques.
Practice mindfulness: Being mindful of your emotions and your surroundings can help with emotional regulation and ground you in moments of weakness.
Why Professional Help Makes a Difference
Sometimes, self-help tips are not enough, and that’s okay. You can’t take care of your mental health in isolation. Seek help from a psychologist or a psychiatrist in case you’re experiencing mental health symptoms that are interfering with your normal daily functioning.
What Next?
Being reactive doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body and mind are trying to protect you, even if it doesn’t always come out the right way. The more you understand your triggers and patterns, the more control you regain. Consider visiting a counsellor in Delhi who can help you understand your patterns and help you overcome them.
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