Anirud
anirud.live@gmail.com
Developing Personal Control simply means we recognise that our power to change starts within. It’s about us claiming the highest authority over our own lives, immediately elevating our quality of life, emotional well-being, and overall success. Personal control isn’t about rigid discipline; it’s the compass that keeps us steady and resolute, even when circumstances are challenging.
Our life’s direction is too important to surrender to external forces. While the world will always try to influence our outcomes, we are the sole deciders of our response. Embracing this responsibility is the difference between feeling like a victim and knowing that failures are just stepping stones for progress. The key is to stop blaming what’s outside and start igniting the power within.
FEELING OVERWHELMED BY STRESS AND WORRY?
It’s natural to worry about things we can’t change – it’s exhausting and often leaves us feeling helpless. This tendency to focus on external chaos floods our system with stress and anxiety, making us feel unbalanced.
The Solution: Shift Our Focus to “What’s Next?”
Instead of dwelling on the negative event itself, we must immediately pivot to the next controllable step. Like cricket legend Sachin Tendulkar when he faced career-threatening injuries, he didn’t waste energy asking, “Why me?” He meticulously controlled his rehabilitation, diet, and practise regimen. His focus was always on the next small action within his power, which kept him at the peak for two decades.
When faced with a problem, we should grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Label one side “Outside Our Control” and the other “Inside Our Control.” We must commit to spending 95 percent of our energy on the “Inside Our Control” list.
STRUGGLING WITH SELF-DOUBT AND REJECTION?
It hurts when we face rejection or harsh criticism. If we lack Personal Control, these experiences can feel like personal attacks, severely undermining our self-worth and breeding deep insecurity.
The Solution: Anchor Our Worth in Our Own Effort
We cultivate self-worth by recognising that our own effort and initiative are the only true foundations for achievement. The famous animation pioneer Walt Disney was fired early on because he supposedly “lacked imagination”- a massive, painful external critique. But his controlled response was to immediately focus on his own drawing, persistence, and vision. He didn’t let external judgment define his destiny. When we own our effort, the conviction that “we can achieve this” becomes unshakeable.
Reframing criticism is key. When someone provides negative feedback, we must consciously treat it not as an attack on our character, but as data for our personal growth plan. We should ask ourselves: “What specific skill can we improve based on this input?”
WAITING FOR PERMISSION TO ACHIEVE OUR GOALS?
When we feel powerless, we tend to wait for others – a boss, a mentor, or external circumstances – to show us the green light. This turns us into a passive recipient of events rather than a creator of our future.
The Solution: Eliminate the “External Veto”
Developing Personal Control means we stop waiting passively and evolve into proactive thinkers, asking, “What can we do right now?” The famous talk show host Oprah Winfrey was removed from her news anchor job because she was deemed “too emotional.” A lesser person would have quit. Instead, she took the daytime slot and focused her energy entirely on controlling the content and authentic style of her new show. By controlling her output, she turned a painful rejection into the foundation of a media empire.
We must identify one goal we’ve been putting off. We should break it into three steps that do not require anyone else’s approval or action. We should complete the first step today. By starting, we prove to ourselves that we hold the final decision-making power.
Simply put, developing personal control is the ultimate key to our taking full responsibility for our lives and turning circumstances to our advantage. It guarantees that we are the architects of our own future.
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