My window overlooks a small children’s playground in our apartment complex, and watching children interact – helping, bossing, bullying, comforting each other – is often engaging. I also eavesdrop on conversations, and one that always touches me if it happens is a little one saying to another, ‘Will you be my friend?’ There’s a lot implied in that one question, including pacts like – ‘Will you take my side in a fight?’ ‘Will you choose me for your team?’ even ‘Will you also stop talking to the one I’m mad with?’ A lot of this continues as we grow up. But what captivates me is that first step; the courage it needs to ask to be friends, openly, directly. We adults don’t do that, except maybe at a distance – say on social media. Rejection is a strong possibility anyway, but finding real friendship is worth it. While it’s true that we often use the term ‘friend’ very loosely, even for people we don’t know too well, these days offering a ‘friendly’ chat or hand is a gift we all can give. This thought had me reflect on a call I recently made to someone I knew, to ask how she was doing in these crazy times. I was shocked when she burst into tears. Apparently, I was the first person who recently called to ask after her. “No one has cared!” she wept. Later in the chat, I asked if she had in fact called on any of her friends and she said she hadn’t. So I gently suggested, when she said I had made her happy that she make some others happy this way too. As a storyteller, a tale I find so insightful comes to mind: A man went to see the Wise One, hoping for advice that would help him come out of what he saw as a bad time in his life. She listened patiently, and then directed him home through a particular path in the forest, saying, “The creatures you see will provide your future direction.” Marguerite Theophil
