Reciprocity is undertaking exchange for mutual benefit. It may seem like the most natural thing to do, but few realise that the wheels of society and more so diplomacy are driven by it. Some say diplomacy is 99 per cent reciprocity and one per cent generosity. Even in matters of faith, while it is logical that the Supreme Consciousness is neutral and loves all beings equally, still the belief is that if there is more display of devotion to the Lord, the Lord will be more kind to us. Working together or exchanging services, people by reciprocating are able to accomplish more than they would individually. Reciprocity is not always an even exchange, which opens up the potential for abuse, yet people are often willing to perform a proportionately larger favour in return for something small. In 1974, sociologist Phillip Kunz mailed out Christmas cards with a note and photograph of him and his family to approximately 600 randomly selected strangers. Kunz received nearly 200 replies. Reciprocity operated — Kunz had done something for them and many felt obligated to respond. Our upbringing plays an important role in the internalisation of reciprocity. In school, we happily share our tiffin with friends but not with the bully, who just takes and does not share. Through experience, children learn to share with others, take turns, and engage in reciprocal actions. Several types of reciprocity are recognised. Balanced reciprocity which involves a calculation of the value of the exchange and an expectation that the favour will be returned within a specified time frame is most common. It is essentially quid pro quo. Carpools are a pragmatic application, whereas wedding gifts are an extreme example. If reciprocation is inadequate, it may lead to breakdown of relations. Politicians seek votes invoking reciprocity. In diplomacy, election of candidates in multilateral organisations is conducted by tying up reciprocal support amongst countries. Generalised reciprocity or exchange involves give and take within families, friends, within and outside the kinship groups and also in the metaphysical world. There is no expectation of a returned favour; instead, people simply do something for another person based on the assumption that the other person would do the same thing for them. Generalised reciprocity is based on the acceptance of delayed gratification. Returns may not materialise at all but if they do, they provide the greatest of benefits. They build trust, loyalty and stability in society. Sandeep Chakravorty
